Carefree!

For a girl like me, who constantly holds every worry in every loved one's life as a personal priority, it is a truly beautiful feeling to 'let go' and simply appreciate the moment in all its splendor and simplicity. It is also a gift from Allah (SWT), and I thank Him with every breath that leaves my body for teaching me how to feel this way :-)

I am what some may call an 'extreme human being'. My existence in this world is one of extreme emotion and feeling, whether it be love or pain, happiness or grief. Though it is only at this point in life that I am beginning to understand my own soul and her many pieces, I have always loved and grieved with every single fiber of my being. Whether it was with my father, grandmother, aunt, or best friend, I have given my heart in its entirety to the many relationships and friendships with which Allah (SWT) has so generously blessed me. As I grow in my deen as a stronger and more sincere muslimah, I become more aware of the true beauty of this quality-having an open heart, overflowing in its capacity with genuine love for all of Allah (SWT)'s creations, be they mountains, horses, or human beings-and that it is one that will be tested heavily in the apathy, fitna, and hate of this sad world. All praise be to Allah, He has made my soul, my heart, my being even stronger in both the face of unconscionable grief and the face of heartless human beings.

Alhamdulilah, though this quality of mine allows me to come closer to Allah (SWT) and his creations in many ways, it also leaves me in a very vulnerable and weak position to those in this world who are insensitive, inconsiderate, and simply cold. It's difficult beyond words to have ice poured over a warm soul, but this is the nature of this world of Allah (SWT)-one of constant tests and trials. So, in order for a person like myself to even survive in this world, it is imperative that I find ways to fight animosity that forces its way into my life. It is only in the last 9 months that I have slowly and painstakingly come to understand how to release and submit my soul to the perfect and supreme Will of Allah (SWT). Because the deen of Islam is not only about the 5 pillars (which are the easiest to accomplish) but even more about the way a Muslim carries himself in a community or society-exemplifying the traits and character of our noble Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Once a Muslim achieves confidence in the purity and sincerity of his heart and character, he finds it very easy to accept the decisions and paths to which Allah (SWT) leads him--for he knows that these are the paths that will lead him closest to Allah (SWT).

All in all, it is necessary for us as mu'mineen to relinquish all control to our Almighty Lord, and have confidence in His unchallenged Hikmah (wisdom)! Allah (SWT) has taught me a very, very beautiful lesson...but not without months of raw pain, confusion and uncertainty.

Surah Ibrahim, Ayah 1:

ALIF LAM RA. A Book We have sent down to you that you may lead men out of darkness into light, by their Lord\'s command, to the path of the mighty, the worthy of praise.